On Overcoming

Yesterday, the GOP-led North Carolina House of Representatives quickly pushed through a vote on the proposed constitutional amendment against same-sex marriage. Conveniently, they did this the day before today's gigantic rally (which is totes still happening, btw).

As someone who works for an advocacy organization, it never ceases to amaze me how strongly I still react when my rights and the rights of others are being attacked and debated by legislators (and/or voted on by the general public). Yes, some could say that I should develop a thicker skin. That's fine. However, I'm also human. It's not as though I spend every day the General Assembly is in session curled up in a ball crying in the corner. I often get angry at the hatred, ignorance, bigotry, and privilege that exists in our world. A lot of the time, especially after debates, I feel the need to take showers to wash off all of the horrible things that were said.

Obviously, this debate hit closer to home than some others, especially since our wedding (here in NC) is just five weeks away. I love Kate so incredibly much, and the idea that people find this objectionable enough to actively work to make our lives more challenging makes me absolutely sick.

Aside from that, there are a few other things that made me particularly depressed about yesterday's events (and that kept me up way too late writing this post):

• If I was this down about these actions, imagine how young LGBT kids who have just come out or are still in the closet must feel.
• It's pretty sad that we have to fight to keep something we already don't have from becoming even less accessible. Since same-sex marriage is already illegal in North Carolina, it's not as if we're working to gain access to marriage, just to keep this discrimination from becoming even more codified in our state.
• That, if the amendment passes the Senate (which could be as early as today), the fight is just beginning. This proposed amendment would then go on the ballot for a vote by the general public in May 2012. 

Yet amid all this insanity, there is still reason to be hopeful. Equality NC has increased their Facebook fans by over 17,000 (and counting) since last Friday (!) with the help of Facebook co-founder and NC native Chris Hughes. People from all over the world are sending their love and support.

This speech from Rep. Marcus Brandon (as well as many others from other legislative opponents of the amendment), who is currently the only openly-LGBT member of the General Assembly, is also really fantastic.

And here's the main thing I have to keep reminding myself: these anti-gay legislators are running scared. They're part of a dying breed, a rapidly decreasing number of people who support state-sanctioned discrimination. They are using this amendment as a desperate attempt to drum up support from a base that cares less and less about this issue. People in our state have real problems, like unemployment and budget cuts, and they want to see their legislators focus on this instead of spending upwards of $150,000 to reconvene a special hate session.

Regardless of what happens with this amendment, they will go down as being on the wrong side of history. Even though the road to full equality for all LGBT people (which includes marriage equality) may be long and rocky, I firmly believe that we'll make it there. I believe in my heart of hearts that Kate's and my future children will be genuinely shocked to learn that we weren't always treated the same as everyone else because of our sexual orientation.

And in the meantime? We have to keep our chins up and keep on fighting like our rights depend on it. Because they do.

A Weekend at Pilot Mountain

pilot mountain in the distance

pretty trees on a short little hike

the path

a quick jaunt to mount airy, birthplace and childhood home of andy griffith and inspiration of mayberry

from the top of pilot mountain

sweaty after a hike to the top

long leaf pines and a view

wildflowers

she's pretty cute

hooray for sweatastic self-portraits

delicious post-hike mexican food

half a tamale with black beans and plantains

fun logo from the restaurant in boone, nc {which has lots of great veggie options!}

 storm rolling into pilot mountain {also a view from the top, but this time we drove}

Here are a few of my favorite shots from our trip this past weekend. It was so nice to get away for awhile and spend time camping and hiking, as well as taking a few day trips. Western North Carolina is really lovely and I love having a chance to explore there whenever possible. I hope y'all had an equally fantastic weekend- I'm already dreaming of the next one!

Calling for Equality

As you may or may not know, Kate and I are engaged and getting married next month (!) here in North Carolina. Same-sex marriage isn't legal here, but since we've made this state home for the past six years (and counting), we feel that it's important to get married in the place we consider home, surrounded by our families and friends. 

We're so excited to be joining our lives together here, but the awareness that we can't get legally married here is particularly acute as we're planning our honeymoon to Vermont, where we'll have an entirely separate civil ceremony. Though this will obviously be exciting for us, it will have absolutely zero meaning as far as the state of North Carolina is concerned when we get back. We'll still have to file taxes separately and list ourselves as being single, even though that obviously isn't true.

While New York recently passed a bill legalizing same-sex marriage, in North Carolina we're currently fighting for essentially the reverse of that- to not have our constitution say that same-sex couples like us can't get married (convoluted, no?). Next week the North Carolina General Assembly is reconvening for a "special session" on constitutional amendments. One that's currently on the slate is House Bill 777/Senate Bill 106, the so-called "Defense of Marriage" act, which would create a constitutional amendment against same-sex mariage here in North Carolina. We're currently the only state in the south that doesn't have one, but, like I said earlier, same-sex couples already can't get married here.

What this amendment will do is to write hatred and bigotry into our state's founding document. It would also bar civil unions and prohibit both public and private entities from offering domestic partnership benefits like health insurance. It will even nullify the largely ceremonial domestic partnership Kate and I received through our little town.  A ridiculous slap in the face, if you ask me. For a full rundown of what this bill would (and wouldn't) do, click here.

With only a week until the NCGA meets back in Raleigh, there are lots of ways you can get involved. As you'll see above, Equality North Carolina (our state's truly awesome LGBT rights organization where- in the interest of full disclosure- I've had the privilege of interning and volunteering) is hosting a rally in Raleigh next week against the amendment. If you're local, please join! It's so important to show legislators that this isn't something that's wanted by the people of our state. ENC is also hosting a series of vigils across the state the night before, so be sure to check those out, too. And p.s.: did you see that Chely Wright is going to be at the rally and the vigil in Raleigh? As if you needed further incentive to attend!

They're also holding phone banks across the state every day this week from 12-9pm to encourage folks to contact their legislators to oppose this bill. Check out their website for more info or to sign up!

Don't live in NC? You can still make a contribution to Equality NC and/or follow them on Facebook and Twitter to help spread the word about what's going on here. You can find out the status of same-sex partnership recognition in your state and join the fight there to make it more inclusive, if applicable.

The take-away message here? Get informed and get involved no matter where you are so that this type of discrimination stops impacting a whole lot of folks, including Kate and yours truly.

Bonne Weekend!

Source: midgetthouse.com via Hillary on Pinterest

Happy Friday, y'all. I'm so excited that the weekend is here, even though Irene is looking like she could make things quite a bit crazier than usual for most of the East Coast. I'm keeping everyone in her path in my thoughts, but especially eastern North Carolina, as well as my home state of Connecticut (and the rest of the tri-state area).

We're hoping to head farther west in NC to partake in some fun outdoor activities, but we'll see what these storms have in store for us. Either way, I'm planning to start tomorrow off with some early-morning yoga followed by my usual trip to the farmers' market. That coupled with lots of quality time with Kate and I'll be good to go regardless of whatever else the weekend holds!

Let's all meet back here in one piece on Monday, k?

On Tornadoes

So this past weekend, as seen above, the weather got more than a little crazy down here in North Carolina.

Thankfully where we live (near Chapel Hill) was spared of anything more than some strong winds and loud thunderstorms, but severe damage happened in plenty of other areas, including Raleigh, our capital city. It was strange to be sitting at home, constantly checking my phone to see if we needed to take cover and then waiting to hear reports from folks in other areas.

All told, there were about 62 tornadoes that touched down across the state, and over 20 lives that were lost.  Shaw University, a historically black college/university (HBCU) in the downtown area, sustained so much damage that it has closed for the remainder of the semester. Raleigh City Cemetery, a historic landmark that contained lots of very old oak trees, didn't fare well either, as shown in this video. More pictures of the storm and damage across the state can be seen here.

Having lived and worked in this area (including right near where the video was taken), it's a bit surreal to see photos of the devastation posted online from places with which I'm familiar. It seems as if these things are supposed to only happen 'somewhere else,' not to one's own community. Intellectually I know that this isn't the case, and that tragedies can happen anywhere, to anyone, and at any time, but deep down it seems there's a little part of me that feels otherwise.

Clearly I'm still paying attention to reports on this and will be sending thoughts and prayers to those impacted. I'm also searching for ways to help, at least in some small way. This Twitter feed has posted some great opportunities, so if you're local definitely check it out.

That's all for now, except to say that I'm feeling extremely fortunate that Kate and I, as well as all the friends we've heard from, are safe and sound. It easily could have been otherwise.