Our Wedding Invitations

Yesterday the North Carolina Senate also voted to pass the anti-LGBT marriage amendment. That means it will now go on the ballot in May 2012 as part of the primaries. Eight months to fight like hell to prevent this amendment, y'all.

However, our wedding plans are well on their way. The fabulous Ellie posted photos of our invitations on her beautiful blog, with which we're absolutely smitten.  We love the rustic touches that are done in a way that's still totally elegant.

I've always had a thing for pretty paper goods, so I knew that I wanted our invitations to be really well-designed and special, and Ellie has definitely gone above and beyond our expectations. It also makes us really happy to be working with someone based right here in the Triangle. We're currently working with her on the day-of stationery and we can't wait to see what else she has up her (very creative) sleeves!

{Also, a special thanks to Ellie for letting me share these photos here!}

Photos: You Go, I Go, We Go
Design: Hello Tenfold

On Overcoming

Yesterday, the GOP-led North Carolina House of Representatives quickly pushed through a vote on the proposed constitutional amendment against same-sex marriage. Conveniently, they did this the day before today's gigantic rally (which is totes still happening, btw).

As someone who works for an advocacy organization, it never ceases to amaze me how strongly I still react when my rights and the rights of others are being attacked and debated by legislators (and/or voted on by the general public). Yes, some could say that I should develop a thicker skin. That's fine. However, I'm also human. It's not as though I spend every day the General Assembly is in session curled up in a ball crying in the corner. I often get angry at the hatred, ignorance, bigotry, and privilege that exists in our world. A lot of the time, especially after debates, I feel the need to take showers to wash off all of the horrible things that were said.

Obviously, this debate hit closer to home than some others, especially since our wedding (here in NC) is just five weeks away. I love Kate so incredibly much, and the idea that people find this objectionable enough to actively work to make our lives more challenging makes me absolutely sick.

Aside from that, there are a few other things that made me particularly depressed about yesterday's events (and that kept me up way too late writing this post):

• If I was this down about these actions, imagine how young LGBT kids who have just come out or are still in the closet must feel.
• It's pretty sad that we have to fight to keep something we already don't have from becoming even less accessible. Since same-sex marriage is already illegal in North Carolina, it's not as if we're working to gain access to marriage, just to keep this discrimination from becoming even more codified in our state.
• That, if the amendment passes the Senate (which could be as early as today), the fight is just beginning. This proposed amendment would then go on the ballot for a vote by the general public in May 2012. 

Yet amid all this insanity, there is still reason to be hopeful. Equality NC has increased their Facebook fans by over 17,000 (and counting) since last Friday (!) with the help of Facebook co-founder and NC native Chris Hughes. People from all over the world are sending their love and support.

This speech from Rep. Marcus Brandon (as well as many others from other legislative opponents of the amendment), who is currently the only openly-LGBT member of the General Assembly, is also really fantastic.

And here's the main thing I have to keep reminding myself: these anti-gay legislators are running scared. They're part of a dying breed, a rapidly decreasing number of people who support state-sanctioned discrimination. They are using this amendment as a desperate attempt to drum up support from a base that cares less and less about this issue. People in our state have real problems, like unemployment and budget cuts, and they want to see their legislators focus on this instead of spending upwards of $150,000 to reconvene a special hate session.

Regardless of what happens with this amendment, they will go down as being on the wrong side of history. Even though the road to full equality for all LGBT people (which includes marriage equality) may be long and rocky, I firmly believe that we'll make it there. I believe in my heart of hearts that Kate's and my future children will be genuinely shocked to learn that we weren't always treated the same as everyone else because of our sexual orientation.

And in the meantime? We have to keep our chins up and keep on fighting like our rights depend on it. Because they do.

Music Monday: New York State of Mind

Even though I was in Charleston and then traveling home yesterday, my thoughts and prayers were (and are) very much with everyone impacted by that day. I can't believe it's been ten years.

Bonne weekend!

Source: blessyoursweetheart.tumblr.com via Hillary on Pinterest

With the help of Labor Day, I can't help but feel like this week has completely flown by! I'm headed down to the always lovely Charleston, South Carolina for a bit of pre-wedding fun with friends. All I've requested is to visit the beach, a gay bar, and the gigantic TJ Maxx and Marshall's. Should be some pretty easy requests to fill, no?

I hope y'all have a fantastic weekend, too!

A Functional Entryway

Right now our 'entryway' is composed of a stair landing with enough room to open the front door and an adjacent closet (read: it's crowded). I'm dreaming big for a future house that allows us to have plenty of space for storage and/or cleaning off our winter boots. Because of course my dreams still include being obsessively organized...

Source: things.konradolsson.se via Hillary on Pinterest

Source: bhg.com via Hillary on Pinterest

Source: gardenviewcottage.tumblr.com via Hillary on Pinterest

Source: bhg.com via Hillary on Pinterest

Virtual Dress Up: Zara

In case you hadn't heard the exciting news, Zara, the fantastically fashionable, moderately priced European clothing store, began offering online shopping in the US yesterday! Since the nearest physical store location is in DC, I'm much more excited to play virtual dress up with their items, knowing that I can much more readily make a purchase should I fall in lust with anything (I'm sure Kate is really excited about this development, too...).

Here are some of my favorite selections from their current offerings:

double breasted frock coat, $169

knitted blazer, $89.90

sequin jacket, $129

dress with elastic waist, $89.90

bell bottom jeans, $79.90

twisted yarn dress, $39.90

felt shopper, $159

Have y'all shopped at Zara before? If not, will you now? What are some of your favorite picks for the fall?

A Weekend at Pilot Mountain

pilot mountain in the distance

pretty trees on a short little hike

the path

a quick jaunt to mount airy, birthplace and childhood home of andy griffith and inspiration of mayberry

from the top of pilot mountain

sweaty after a hike to the top

long leaf pines and a view

wildflowers

she's pretty cute

hooray for sweatastic self-portraits

delicious post-hike mexican food

half a tamale with black beans and plantains

fun logo from the restaurant in boone, nc {which has lots of great veggie options!}

 storm rolling into pilot mountain {also a view from the top, but this time we drove}

Here are a few of my favorite shots from our trip this past weekend. It was so nice to get away for awhile and spend time camping and hiking, as well as taking a few day trips. Western North Carolina is really lovely and I love having a chance to explore there whenever possible. I hope y'all had an equally fantastic weekend- I'm already dreaming of the next one!

Calling for Equality

As you may or may not know, Kate and I are engaged and getting married next month (!) here in North Carolina. Same-sex marriage isn't legal here, but since we've made this state home for the past six years (and counting), we feel that it's important to get married in the place we consider home, surrounded by our families and friends. 

We're so excited to be joining our lives together here, but the awareness that we can't get legally married here is particularly acute as we're planning our honeymoon to Vermont, where we'll have an entirely separate civil ceremony. Though this will obviously be exciting for us, it will have absolutely zero meaning as far as the state of North Carolina is concerned when we get back. We'll still have to file taxes separately and list ourselves as being single, even though that obviously isn't true.

While New York recently passed a bill legalizing same-sex marriage, in North Carolina we're currently fighting for essentially the reverse of that- to not have our constitution say that same-sex couples like us can't get married (convoluted, no?). Next week the North Carolina General Assembly is reconvening for a "special session" on constitutional amendments. One that's currently on the slate is House Bill 777/Senate Bill 106, the so-called "Defense of Marriage" act, which would create a constitutional amendment against same-sex mariage here in North Carolina. We're currently the only state in the south that doesn't have one, but, like I said earlier, same-sex couples already can't get married here.

What this amendment will do is to write hatred and bigotry into our state's founding document. It would also bar civil unions and prohibit both public and private entities from offering domestic partnership benefits like health insurance. It will even nullify the largely ceremonial domestic partnership Kate and I received through our little town.  A ridiculous slap in the face, if you ask me. For a full rundown of what this bill would (and wouldn't) do, click here.

With only a week until the NCGA meets back in Raleigh, there are lots of ways you can get involved. As you'll see above, Equality North Carolina (our state's truly awesome LGBT rights organization where- in the interest of full disclosure- I've had the privilege of interning and volunteering) is hosting a rally in Raleigh next week against the amendment. If you're local, please join! It's so important to show legislators that this isn't something that's wanted by the people of our state. ENC is also hosting a series of vigils across the state the night before, so be sure to check those out, too. And p.s.: did you see that Chely Wright is going to be at the rally and the vigil in Raleigh? As if you needed further incentive to attend!

They're also holding phone banks across the state every day this week from 12-9pm to encourage folks to contact their legislators to oppose this bill. Check out their website for more info or to sign up!

Don't live in NC? You can still make a contribution to Equality NC and/or follow them on Facebook and Twitter to help spread the word about what's going on here. You can find out the status of same-sex partnership recognition in your state and join the fight there to make it more inclusive, if applicable.

The take-away message here? Get informed and get involved no matter where you are so that this type of discrimination stops impacting a whole lot of folks, including Kate and yours truly.

From the Farmers' Market

Happy Tuesday! I hope y'all had a fantastic long weekend. I'll post a longer update later, but Kate and I spent it camping in lovely Pilot Mountain, NC. We didn't leave until mid-day on Saturday, but we still managed to take a bit of a rush trip to the market, since I had my wedding dress fitting (!) at 9am.

Kate came along for the trip to the market, which is always a treat in my book. Here's what we picked up:

a whole mess of lettuce, tomatoes, {even more} chocolate chip banana bread, peaches, + bacon

That last item there needs a bit more explaining, since both Kate and I identify as vegetarians. Since we're both vegetarians for mainly environmental reasons (as well as health), the occasional meat isn't really a huge deal (although the looks most folks give us when we try to explain that is pretty fun). So Kate gets locally produced bacon from time to time at the market and I'll order some seafood if we're close to the coast. Since we eat vegetarian about 98% of the time, we're still keeping the label.

in all of its frozen and packaged glory

peaches are my fave

I was particularly happy to see that peaches were still being sold since 1) it's getting a bit late in the season and 2) they are one of my favorite parts of summer in the south. I'm fairly convinced that there are few things better than a perfectly ripe in-season peach.

Bonne weekend!

Source: google.com via Hillary on Pinterest

After a pretty excellent week, I'm still excited for this long weekend! Our plans may or may not involve exploring these beauties above. Fingers crossed that rain won't get the best of us! Either way, I'm just really looking forward to being active, spending time with Kate, and doing lots of relaxing.

What are y'all up to? Whatever it is, I hope that your weekend is a success!

In case you hadn't seen this...

{image via}

Why yes, you are indeed viewing this correctly. It seems that JC Penney thought it would be awesome to include this really awful shirt in their collection of back to school items for girls. 

I really have no earthly idea why anyone thought it was appropriate to make, sell, or purchase this shirt. Though I shouldn't be surprised, given how many other tops with horrendously awful and/or offensive slogans exist in the world, it still makes me absolutely sick to think that people still buy into stereotypes like "pretty girls can't be smart," "boys are clearly smarter than girls," and "if I like to listen to pop music I can't focus on anything else" (thanks for that last one, product description). Also, since when is not doing your homework "cute and sassy"? I hate that this is what we're teaching kids, and that this is something that some people continue to find humorous.

I could go on (and on) about this, but this piece from Salon says it far better than me:

"It would be wonderful to think we live in a world where the idea that a girl or a woman would prioritize her body over her brain is so ludicrous that it could never be taken seriously. But when the message that women ought to embrace that hierarchy of values is delivered so relentlessly and through so many channels, JCPenney should have realized that its supposedly clever slogan was too on the nose to be worn on anybody’s body as a joke."

A-freaking-men.

Clawfoot Inspiration

Right now, our bathroom is pretty darn tiny. And I'm 5'10". This makes taking a bath a bit of a logistical challenge. However, I think this two tubs would be absolutely perfect for long, relaxing baths. Nevermind that I rarely have enough time to take a shower before flying out the door.

Perhaps someday I'll have a gigantic clawfoot tub and time enough to enjoy it!

Source: sundayinbed.tumblr.com via Hillary on Pinterest

Source: imgfave.com via Hillary on Pinterest